Is it worth it, can you even hear me? standing with the spotlight on me...not enough to feed the hungry, I'm tired and I felt it for a while, in this sea of lonely the taste of ink is getting old...

Monday, October 03, 2005

Poema para Diana

Bueno este último post va a ser dedicado a Diana (Di, pekeña Di, Dippie...)
este poema fue escrito por un amigo mio... y como podrán ver se lo dedica a Diana...
bueno aki va:

Yo era tan feliz, siempre tan contento
pero he ido cambiando
hay algo raro que yo siento,
y ahora siempre ando suspirando.
Cuando yo te conocí
no pensé que esto pasaría,
yo nunca creí
que algún día te amaría.
Yo te he ido conociendo
y tu no eres como el resto,
mi afecto a ti ha ido creciendo
y parar yo quiero esto.
Me gusta ver tu alegre sonrisa
adoro ver tu linda cara
me encanta oir tu graciosa risa
y tu personalidad tan rara.
Nunca imaginé que en ti yo pensaría,
a veces cuando te veo
voy a las nubes y me lleno de alegría
pero tu no serás mía, eso es lo que creo
Por ahí oigo rumores
y me duele sin cesar
crearon rabía y rencores
y no podía yo pensar.
Lo que siento es amor,
siento mucha confusión
siento rabia y dolor
porque veo yo traición.
Te quiero por ser quien eres
te detesto por ser tan arrogante
no hay duda alguna que tu no me quieres
pero yo seguiré perseverante.
Te odio con toda mi alma
te amo con todo mi corazón
nunca más sabre lo que es la calma
pero Diana, siempre serás mi inspiración...

Awwww!!! eso es amor obsesivo! sips wips!
pd: mis poemas son mucho mejores! *shifty eyes*

Friday, September 16, 2005

New Poems

This are some "poems" I wrote today here ya go:

she giggles and he smiles,
she sheds tears, he cries,
she bleeds, he aches
she dies, he awakes
he know it's over
she is already gone away...
She thinks the pain is over,
but apparently its not
he just didn't leave her
he also broke her heart
she thinks she can't breath
the air is so thin,
the rain starts falling
the thunders won't wait
her dreams are broken
his heart is the same
its their pride that
broke them away...
this one was based on Mikey Way... lol it sucks! sorry!
He is love suicide
he doesn't even know
just seeing him walk by
makes me melt all,
he doesn't smile that much
but when he does, he shows
his perfect smile
his soft lips
the perfect smile...
that's it for today my friends...
buhbye! and remember that this died...
so cut my wrists and black my eyes,

Monday, September 12, 2005


Just read this conversation and comment about it... is he right? no he can't be...

Ryan dice:
i am afraid to say but ur a emo peaice of shite

·!¦[·Ana·]¦!· but if you die right know that I die too... I die too... dice:
sheesh thanx

Ryan dice:
oh ur welcome

Ryan dice:
dont cry

·!¦[·Ana·]¦!· but if you die right know that I die too... I die too... dice:
why do u say that?!

Ryan dice:
cos ur an emo

Ryan dice:
ur screen name makes you cry

·!¦[·Ana·]¦!· but if you die right know that I die too... I die too... dice:

Ryan dice:
so thts fuckin gay

·!¦[·Ana·]¦!· but if you die right know that I die too... I die too... dice:
n if it did what's the problem?!

Ryan dice:
u cry at music and you are a very sad lil girl

Ryan dice:
"n if it did"

Ryan dice:
it does

Ryan dice:
listenin to music is to make you happy and cheer you up not bring you down in depression

Ryan dice:
emo music is GAY!

·!¦[·Ana·]¦!· but if you die right know that I die too... I die too... dice:
no it's not!

Ryan dice:
yes it is

·!¦[·Ana·]¦!· but if you die right know that I die too... I die too... dice:
no its no

Ryan dice:
wipe the tear out yer eye n face the facts

Ryan dice:
it is

·!¦[·Ana·]¦!· but if you die right know that I die too... I die too... dice:
so do u have problems with emos?

that was the whole conversation... plz comment

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Happy Birthday Mr. Way

Today it's Mr. Way's 25th birthday!!!!! He most be eating loads of popsicles and sushi! aww my wittle milky way!!! he is just 10 years older than me yay! so we still have a chance...

yeah yeah i know i haven't writen in quite a while but... i mean lots is the only one who reads.. and i haven't been in the mood lately... I'm betraying you blog! I created an account at livejournal haha sorry... but im still writing here! for nobody... im sad... argh... *singing* you know you do you kill me well! you like it too and I can tell! you never stop until my final breath is gone! *finish singing*
well kids g2g...
so cut my wrists and black my eyes...
Mikey Way's bitch:

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Why sundays suck!

I hate sundays...they suck! they are uber boring and the tv programation sucks! oh anf everyone is out with their families! yeah and i have to go to! and ahhh!!!!
I also use to take naps on sundays but I'm terrified of them. Today when I woke up from my nap I was feeling ill... I still feel dizzy. I felt dizzy and wanted to puke... weird huh?
Also I hate sundays because I don't have a single thing to do and I'm always sad because the weekend is over and another week at hell starts!

I created a livejournal... so I think im gonna ditch this thing and start writing on the other one...well who cares... no one is reading this


so cut my wrists and black my eyes,

I'm a shy music whore!

Yeah I must admit i am a music whore! I love music! I can't live without it!!!...
Today my mom told me she was worried about me because I was becomming shier(sp) than ever! I told her that that wasn't true because I do have friends!! and that if I didn't like to go out well then she had to deal with it! I mean it's my life!!! argh! let me live my life!! I wanted to tell her: well if i am shy it's my problem! I lvoe being like this!
but i didn't...
well im going! thnx who ever is reading this!

so cut my wrists and black my eyes...
your little music whore!

Friday, September 02, 2005

news bout my life...

Dear Diary.... mood: careless...

My life is just a great chaos... I can't believe MCR is going to Mexico it sucks! They are posers... punk wannabs! i hate the... Im so tired., my body hurts like hell. I have allergy and I just cut with the stupid table! and it doesn't help that I couldn't take a nap today... *sighs*

My life is soffocating you know. I feel exploted and no one understands me. My parents think I'm weird... yeah maybe I am... no one really gets me!

I don't know diary... I think you are the only one who gets me! I love you, you are my best friend... i feel like sleeping...

yeah from now on im going to write like that bcuz no one reads and argh! i shouldn't even be typing this! I dunno if i wanna keep writing my second ficcy cuz ones again no ones reads this... maybe because it sucks.. or maybe im a bad writer... yeah i suck!!!!
if someone else writes a comment or writes a messega or w/e i will keep writing my ficcy!
kk g2g buhbye!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

What it is to burn!

I know this fanfic is boring and short! sorry! writer's block! haha not actually i know what's going to happen til the end... but im lazy! hope u guys like it!

Chapter 4

Abby’s POV

I woke up around 8 am. Yesterday I got home at about 11 and decided to take all my “preppy” cloth out of my closet and hang my new cloth. I also put on some band posters and wrote on the wall some poems.
I went downstairs and went to the kitchen to have breakfast. The maid offered me some pancakes and I ate them. Yeah I have a maid like I said before the Cohen family is the richest family in Belleville. Many people say I live in a mansion just because it’s the biggest one in this crappy town.

My phone started ringing and I picked it up.

“Hey Abs, wassup? Remember we are going to your place today” Frankie said.

“Good morning, sunshine! Yeah I remember… so why my house?” I asked.

“Well uhh I don’t know I want my friends to be your friends too. So I decided we could go to your place and stuff… maybe we could go to the movies later. Do you have a problem?” He said.

“Uh na, just asking. Uh well then see you at 11?” I said.

“Yeah bye!” He said.

I sighed and went upstairs to get ready. I took a bath and got dressed. I decided to wear jeans, a green day tee, black hoodie and my new black and purple converse.
Since it was just 10 o’clock I signed in on my msn.

Frank’s POV:

“Guys hurry up!” I said a bit mad because Gerard was the only one ready.

“Don’t worry babe” Gerard said kissing me sweetly.

“Gross guys get a room!” Ray said.

“Hahaha well we will get a room eventually and it’s said because you don’t have no one to go into a room with.” Gerard said making fun of him.

“I have a girlfriend! Ok!” Ray said.

“Yer right! We believe you” I said still laughing.

Finally Mikey and Michelle came down. Good those two are inseparable. She is almost a pain in the ass! I don’t like that couple. I think Abs and Mikey would look good together! They are perfect for each other!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

What it is to burn

So here is a bit more! I hope you guys enjoy it! oh and for the record Im going to keep this PG-13!! yeah it's slashy! so enjoy i guess

Chapter 3

Mikey’s POV

This can’t be true… I must be dreaming… I’m here with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She’s so perfect. I think I’m in love… love at first sight. I never thought this could be possible I just thought love at first sight was not real. But it would never work out. I mean, why would she be interested in a big loser like me? I’m ugly and ultra shy… Plus I have a girlfriend who loves me. I shouldn’t be doubting my love. I know I love her. She’s always been her for me. Yeah let’s think about Michelle, not Abby… Well I’ll give it a try…

“Honey! I knew you were going to be here!” Michelle said.

“Hey there. I told you we had band practice” I said while hugging her. She leaned closer to me and we started making out.

“Yuck, guys get a room!” Ray said pretending he was puking.

“Ok guys so like I was saying this is my cousin Abby and you have to treat her good because she’s a great girl! You just have to know her” Frankie said hugging Abby.

“I’m Michelle, Mikey’s girlfriend.” Michelle said shaking hands with Abby.

“Abby, nice to meet you” Abby said.

Abby’s POV:

I thought something with Mikey could work out but apparently he has a girlfriend. Who can blame her? I mean he is cute. Wait I can’t think this! I’m not the kind of girl that gets in between of a relationship. Maybe he is her soul mate. I hate that they look cute though.

“I think I know you… you go to our same highschool, don’t you?” Michelle asked with a suspicious look.

“Yeah… I think you must have a bad impression about me… I was a fake in the past now I’ve changed” I said.

“Oh and If I did something bad to you guys I’m really sorry! I’m really fucking sorry!” I said again.

“It’s okay I always knew you were kinda different you know..” Michelle said.

Then the guys started playing and about two hours after they finished. I looked at my watch and decided to head home.

“Well I guess I have to go. Buhbye Frankie… erhh bye guys, nice to meet you all.” I said getting up and picking up my stuff.

“Bye Abs! Tomorrow we are going to your place at 11!” Frankie said.

“Oh great so I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow” I said and went to my car and drove home.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

What it is to burn...

Chapter 2:

Frankie’s POV

I was happy that my Abby was leaving her preppy stage behind. I knew that deep inside her she wanted to be like us. So that’s why I invited her to the band practice. We just started it a month ago. I play the second guitar. My boy friend is the lead singer. Yeah I have a boy friend. His name is Gerard and I love him so much. He is my best friend’s brother.

“Oh Abby today you are going to meet my boy friend” I said kinda shy.

“Boy friend? Woah! Who is the lucky guy?” She asked.

“Well his name is Gerard Way, he’s the lead singer of my band. Also my best friend’s old brother.” I said while grinning.
“Aww that’s cute, I want to meet him!” She said.

When we got there the guys were already sitting on the porch with their instruments. I pointed Abby who Gerard was. She said he was cute and that we made a cute couple.
I could see jealousy in Gerard’s eyes maybe he thinks I’m going out with Abby.

“Frankie?! Are you cheating on me?!” Gerard asked pretty upset.

“Huh? Honey noo! I love you too much to hurt you! Why do you say that?!” I asked.

“You are cheating!! And with a prep! I can’t believe this!” He said pretty annoyed.

“Hey watch out! She is my cousin! And she’s not a prep okay!” I said defending Abby.

Abby’s POV:

Hahahaha this was pretty hilarious watching Frankie discussing with Gerard. I saw this cute boy sitting with a bass guitar on his lap. He had tight jeans, an Anthrax tee, a black hoodie and emo glasses. I wanted to hug him. He seems so huggable!... Okay Abby stop it! You just broke up with Jake! Remember it! And plus he will never go out with you! Maybe he thinks I am a prep… I swear I’m not.

“Hey I’m not a prep!” I said.

“Yeah you are, your fucking preppy friends and jock boyfriend treat us like shit!” A guy with a huge fro said.

“No, that’s them… I’m not longer with them. I’ve changed… I’m really sorry.” I said and a tear escaped from my piercing hazel eyes.

“No Abby, don’t cry! Come on honey! Ray you asshole you made her cry!” Frankie said while hugging me.

“Buh hoo the little princess is crying…” Ray said and Gerard laughed.

“Stop it guys, leave her alone you assholes” The guy with glasses said.

“Oh wittle Mikey has a crush” Gerard said and Mikey blushed.
“No asshole, I don’t know her! Just leave her alone.” He said.

What it is to burn---> second ficcy!

Well this is my second ficcy! I hope u guys like it! sorry for the spelling errors! here it goes:

Chapter 1:
Abby’s POV

Two months towards the beginning of school... I’m finally a senior! I just have to wait a couple more of months and I can start my new life. Well let me introduce myself. I’m Abby Cohen, and I’m a fake. My parents have a lot of money, we are the richest family in Belleville, New Jersey. I’m the youngest one in the Cohen family. I have 2 brothers which are in Europe getting their degrees. Why do I say I’m a fake? Well because I’ve been obligated to be a “prep”. I wish I could dress in black and were make up to make myself look dead because that’s what I feel I am… dead… But no, I can’t. I have to dress in pink and pastels, skirts and blouses.
My so called friends are the biggest assholes ever. They think they are the best thing ever just because they are popular and have money. I don’t think they are my friends. Jack Thompson is my boyfriend. We’ve been together since my freshman year. I don’t love him but my parents make me be with him. He treats me so bad. He uses me.
The only member of my family which I adore is my cousin Frankie. He is my best friend. He knows why I ignore him at school and why I can’t protect him and his friends from my “friends”
But this year it’s time to change… I need a change I hate being a fake. Now it’s time to show the real Abby Cohen.

*A month later*

I told Frankie to meet me in the mall. I had to do a massive shopping. I needed new cloth, shoes, bags and accessories. My parents just recently got divorced and Mom went to Canada with her “lover”. I can’t believe it yet though. But it is better for me. My dad is never home so I can do whatever I want to now.

When I arrived to the mall I went straight to the food court, where we had agreed to meet.

“Hey Frankie” I said hugging him.

“Abby, my dearest!! Hahaha I’ve been waiting for you!” Frankie said.

“Yeah I’ve notice… you want something to eat first?” I asked.

“Well if you are insisting so much… I would love a cheese burger!” He said.

“Okay so lets eat and then we’ll go shopping!” I said.

*fast forward 30 minutes*

“OMG you were really hungry!” I told Frankie while laughing.

“Yeah you know me! Haha now let’s go” He said.

We headed to the stores. The first one we entered was Hottopic. I bought band tees, jeans, tees, shoes, hoodies, two messenger bags, posters, cds and other stuff to decorate my room. Frankie also bought some things.

After two hours we went to my car and headed to Frankie’s place. He had band practice. But first I had to break up with Jake. So we went to his place.

I knocked on the door and his mother told me to go into his room. When I put my hand on the doorknob I heard some moanings.

“OMG! Alice, how could you?!” I asked while seeing the horrible picture of my boyfriend and my friend making out on his own bed.

“Abby honey! I’m sorry!” Jake said while putting on his shirt.

“No you are not fucking sorry! You know what we are so over! I never want to see you again ever, ever in my life!” I screamed and run downstairs into my car.

I had tears coming down my cheek. I didn’t love Jake but I thought that someone cared about me. It still hurt… I never knew he would use me. I should really get use to it by now.

“Abby are you okay? Did you break up?” Frankie asked.

“Hell yeah! now let’s get to your place!” I said drying the tears.

“Let’s hit it then!” Frankie said.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Returning to school sucks..argh

Today we returned to school after a two weeks vacation. Waking up was the biggest effort I have made this year... I couldn't keep my eyes opened! Dressing up was easy but I hate my school uniform, it sucks...

When I got to school all I thought was why me?! why?!... I mean this time school has no sense at all! I don't have someone to stalk anymore... lmfao! j/k!... Trying to open my locker was a challenge because I didn't remember my combination until 5 minutes later.

We had civic moment which also stinked! and a mosquito bite me! owie!!!... We clapped a few times, sang the national anthem and the state's anthem too... and a bit more of talking blah blah blah and finally we sang the school anthem and headed towards class!

The teachers are so mean! This day was supposed to be easy and stupid... In other words no classes or stuff...but noo! all my teachers are so evil that they gave us class and even homework! It's not fair! *cries*

I had a little fun with my friends too. We catched up with all and stuff. As usual Michelle laughter was heard throught the day.. which kinda cheered me up. Talking about music with Kike also cheered me up a bit...but then he told me that a punk-wannabe went to the states and bought MCR's cd (yeah more too but this one hurt the most!)... Talking with Diana was kinda weird... she freaked me out, pissed me off and made me laugh as well... yeah I know weird...weird...weird...

I wrote a poem today and it's kinda cool, I gues... and contains a lot of taboo thingys... or w/e!

The sun won't shine again
because your smile faded away
when you saw my slited wrists
and the blood on my fists,
the tears shed on the ground,
because I cried when I found
that your feelings were fake...
and you just took this stake,
you killed me slowly twice
I really thought I was wise...
I wrote it at my lengua class... like always it was plain boring.... It's funny because I get really inspired at this class....
Well g2g... Buhbye Mr. Emptyness!
so cut my wrists and black my eyes,
my final breath is gone...